A Portal
by I'maGirlWhoWritesAndDraws
Summary: "Why? He loves you River. He would help you in a heartbeat." Clara said walking over to River. "Does that mean nothing to you: that he's dying every time he thinks back to... that." "That's why he can't help me Clara." River said. But just what does River need help with? - Post NoTD chapter two is up... multi chapter story!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! This is a multi-chapter story just to let you know. I have been playing around with this for a while and wasn't sure... here you go.**

The doctor stood motionlessly staring at the wall. Sometime he wished the pain would stop, he always looses. No matter if he saves the world – again – he loses someone he loves. Only this time he lost the one person who made his lonely life bearable. How her curly hair fell to her shoulders and how it bounced when she turned her head. Or how her eyes shined when she was worried, scarred, or angry – with his.

He dropped his suit jacket on the floor next to him and heard Clara approaching. "Hey, Doctor-" She began but then saw his face... "Are you okay?"

He looked at her with broken eyes. "No, Clara, I am not okay." He answered sitting on the floor.

Clara came to sit next to him. "What happened?" She asked as he looked to the floor.

"I lost her, Clara. I lost her – again." He said. "River... I lost her..."

"But wasn't she already dead? I met her ghost." Clara said slowly trying to work it all out.

"No, well yes. But that happened in her future. We're not in the right order. We never have been. And I ran. Like I always do." The Doctor sighed. "When I first met her I saw her die. And I still let myself fall in love with her, Clara. I still fell in love with the woman I saw die. And it broke my heart."

Clara had tears running down her cheek and she didn't bother to wipe them away. "I'm so sorry..." was she could manage to say.

"We went to the singing towers. That was our final meeting. Well... my final meeting with her and she's going to go to a past me who doesn't understand her who will never understand until it's too late! A man who will stare at her as she dies with only sorrow in his eyes; whereas hers are full of love, and it breaks me every time I think about it. It's fixed. Nothing I can do will stop it from happening!" The Doctor said with dead eyes, Clara was worried about him... She looked at him and stared thinking of a way to fix it. "There's nothing to be done Clara. You can't fix this like you fixed me."

Clara sighed and stood up with determination in her eyes. "I can try."

"_No, Clara. You can't." _Clara heard River say but the Doctor didn't seem to hear her. _"Don't! He doesn't know I'm here yet. Please, don't give it away." _Clara nodded.

"You need to rest Doctor, I think you have went through so much... I don't think even you can handle it." Clara said holding out her hand. He looked up with glassed over eyes. He nodded and took her hand. She hugged him before he left to go to his room. "Goodnight Doctor."

"Goodnight Clara." He muttered finally letting the tears fall as he exited the room.

"Thank you." She heard that voice again only it wasn't in her head anymore.

"You!" She said, "you're here! You're alive?!"

"Not quite." River sighed looking at the door where the Doctor had just left. "I'm stuck."

"_Stuck?_" Clara repeated. River nodded and went to the TARDIS and stroked her console. "Yes, dear. I know, I miss you too."

"Are you _talking _to the TARDIS?"

"Yes, we have... a connection." River said closing her eyes briefly.

"Why are you here with me, and not with him I mean..." Clara asked looking at the door.

"It would kill him... I'm not alive Clara, I'm still a ghost. Well not quite a ghost but I'm not alive either, I can get back with some help." River said with a shy smile. "But not the Doctor's help."

"Why? He loves you River. He would help you in a heartbeat." Clara said walking over to River. "Does that mean nothing to you: that he's dying every time he thinks back to... _that_."

"That's why he can't help me Clara." River said.

"I don't understand..."

"He would help me in a heartbeat like you said, which is what would make the failure hurt all that more. You _can't _tell him I'm here. Promise me Clara." River sighed.

"I promise..." Clara sighed and smiled. "What can I do to help?"

River's smile grew and she nodded. "That's more like it."

* * *

"Doctor! Over here!" Clara called and ran down the hill to where she had just pointed to. "_Be careful Clara... I get a weird feeling._"

'_River?_' She thought and stopped running which caused the Doctor to make them both fall over.

"_Don't say it was me." _

'_I know._' Clara said with an eye roll. "Sorry! I don't know what happened." She said taking the Doctor's hand to get up. This had happened for the past week River just appearing in her mind or in the corner of her eye and it was scaring her. She just hoped they could get it finished soon so this would stop.

"_Clara... get me the vortex manipulator and it will be over..._"

'_Understood._'

"_Jack Harkness will have one._" Clara nodded to herself and saw River in the corner of her eye but when she looked to see if she was really there she was gone.

'_Oh River..._' she thought and carried on with the adventure with the Doctor.

* * *

The TARDIS greeted her as she entered first and ran to the console to put the vortex manipulator in the machine River and her had been making while the Doctor slept. "Is it ready?" She asked and she hoped it was.

"_Yes, I think so. So we have a living portal... Inside a TARDIS... this should be fun... Ready?" _

"As I'll ever be..." Clara said and then jumped into the portal.

"River?" She shouted around the dark landscape. "River?"

"Clara!" She heard her call back and she ran to where she heard it come from.

"Oh my God! River, you're okay!" She said and acting on impulse hugged her. She was quite shocked when River hugged her back just as tightly.

"Are you alright?" River asked looking concerned.

"I'm fine are you?" She asked and River nodded. "Good... we have to get to the portal."

"Yes we do." River agreed and they ended up running back.

"How did you know this would work?" Clara asked stopping her from entering the portal.

"I didn't die, not really. I got stored to the Library, but that started dying, so I got put here... but as I'm not human I didn't just disappear like the rest I got stuck here and as I had the connection from the conference, I knew I could get to you. I needed to get out of here. So I thank you Clara."

"So could you have contacted the Doctor?"

"Yes I could have but... like I said if this didn't work then... He would have been broke. Now we have to go." River said jumping into the portal dragging Clara with her.

Clara opened her eyes slowly blinking. She saw River sat next to her. She reached out and touched River's hand. It worked! Clara sat up quickly and when River saw her move she turned her head to smile at her. Clara hugged her nervously laughing relieved.

"It worked, River, it worked." She laughed and River laughed with her.

"Clara?" The Doctor called.

"Don't tell him, but you had better go." River said.

"I won't. Goodbye River." Clara stood up and quickly ran to hug the Doctor happily.

* * *

The Doctor woke up to a noise in his room. "Hello Sweetie."

**Hope you liked it, I really enjoyed writing it. :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm sorry it took me a while to update this, it has been a long month or so. So; I hope you like this.**

* * *

A portal - Chapter two

"Hello Sweetie." River said walking into the room and looked at the Doctor who was staring at her shocked.

"This is harsh! Even for you!" He yelled but he didn't seem to be talking to her.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" She asked sitting down.

"She's not real! She's not here, she's a hologram which will leave soon." He said to himself. River sighed understanding that he must think the TARDIS is trying to cheer him up.

"Doctor, look at me, do I look like a hologram?" River asked him and he looked up locking eyes with hers. There was so much pain in them. He reached up and lightly touched her cheek.

"You seem real, but… how do I know this isn't a trick with the silence?"

"Oh for pity's sake! Really Doctor?" She said standing up and pacing. "The silence couldn't get in here even if they tried!"

"Telsalector?!" He asked still counting down the list.

"Husband! Shut up! I'm really here! Believe me and we will go find Clara and we will explain."

"Okay," he said standing up sorting his clothes so they looked decent to see Clara in. "Lets go."

They found Clara in the kitchen making herself a cup of tea. "Oh! Hey guys." She greeted them, they didn't look happy. "What's up?"

"We need to explain why and how I'm back." River sighed nodding her head to the Doctor.

"Why not show him?" Clara said hugging her cup with her hands holding it to her chin.

"That could work." The Doctor said and walked out.

"Wrong way." River said and the Doctor walked back in.

"Where then?" He asked hands in pockets looking at the floor.

"Console room." Clara said and he exited once more.

"Are you okay River?" Clara asked stopping her from leaving.

"I'm fine let's just get this over with, I'm rather tired."

Clara nodded and walked out to find the Doctor already having found the device they used.

"That's not possible!" He stated.

"I'm glad you like it, sweetie." River said noticing his tone.

"You couldn't have done this, it's impossible."

"Yeah and she's the impossible girl, see how that works Sweetie?" River said raising an amused eyebrow.

"But you recreated a manipulator, these are rare, and you made it in a week."

"Granted a very long week!" Clara said trying to stop a yawn from forming.

"Go to bed Clara. You're tired." Clara nodded to River's statement and bid goodbye. "Believe me now? I'm really here!"

"Yes River, I believe you." The Doctor said looking at his wife like she wasn't real and was going to disappear.

"Good." She said and walked out yawning.

"River!" He called to her and he got back a "Yes Sweetie?" And he saw River standing there with a hand on her hip looking at him slightly shaking her head.

"I'm going to bed, are you coming or are you going to stand there gaping like a fish all night?" She asked amused.

"River! Not fair!" He said walking over to her and tapping her nose. "Come on, I'm tired."

"So am I!" She said defensively.

"But…"

"Oh here we go!"

"I want to talk first." He admitted which took River off guard.

"Oh." She said startled, then she smiled. "That's a wonderful idea, Sweetie. Let's go."

When they got to their room they sat down and River just wanted to sleep. She knew she really shouldn't because it will just be full of the darkness but she was tired. "River…" The Doctor began but then stopped.

"What is it sweetie?" She asked turning to The Doctor to see his pain stricken face. "Sweetie, I-I."

"River, I've lost you once already, I wouldn't be able to bear that happening again. Not ever, I don't want to lose you River -"

"Sweetie wait let me say something." She interrupted.

"What do you want to say?"

"This." She leaned over and kissed him softly and The Doctor cupped her face in his hands.

"That was… well what is it you wanted to say River?" He said slightly flustered.

"Oh right… continue." She said slightly embarrassed.

"River!" He whined then continued. "Anyway from was I… Oh yeah, I never want to lose you again. Please please stay on the TARDIS with me, I need to know you're okay."

"Why, Doctor, I thought you would never ask!" She laughed and hugged him, "of course I will Doctor." River yawned and leant her head on the Doctor's shoulder.

"What was it like… to die I mean." He asked quietly but then heard River's breathing deepen he looked down to see a sleeping wife. He smiled at her and moved his arms around her and led her down. "I always thought dying would be like falling asleep, but now? I'm not sure. You seem okay, but I can see in your eyes that you too have seen the darkness. I am so, so glad you're home River, I-I I love you River, I always have, I guess from the start I knew who you would become, I just I never expected you to become _this. _Melody Pond Amy and Rory's daughter. A time Lady! But I can say I am so, so happy you did. And the only reason I am telling this is because I know you can't hear me and because I am a coward."

"Mm-hmm that's nice… go to sleep!" River said sleeply and The Doctor smiled down at his wife talking in her sleep. "Yes, Sweetie I love you too, now sleep." He really wanted to know what was going on in that dream of hers but sometimes he didn't want to know what happened in her mind, especially if it involved his hats. A shiver went down his back he thought of River destroying his hats. Then, much like River he fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

The Doctor woke to a feeling of someone leaning on his chest and he almost jumped but then relaxed when he remembered it was just River, and what happened last night. He couldn't help but smile at his sleeping wife.

"Good morning, Sweetie. How long have you been watching me?" River asked sitting up and yawning.

"I wasn't _watching _I just didn't want to disturb you!"

"Uh-huh, okay so what are we doing today?" She asked standing up and walking to the bathroom to wash her face.

"What do you want to do?" He asked.

"Do you think you could manage a day in at the pool?" She asked turning to him putting a hand on her hip. He nodded and also stood up.

"Also I think Clara will enjoy not being in danger for once."

"Yes, so would I." River agreed. "Where's her room?"

"With the rest on the other side of the TARDIS." River nodded and went to go find Clara.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Come on in." Clara called and River walked in.

"Hey, how would you feel about just staying in today? The Doctor and I were going to go to the pool, join us. Plus somewhere there should be a library, I don't suppose it's with the pool anymore?"

"Afraid not." She said sadly shaking her head.

"Damn. Well you in?"

"Yeah, it sounds great! Plus the only chance of dying is by drowning which I don't think will happen."

"Clara. It's the Doctor and I, _anything _can happen."

"Why do I get a feeling you mean that literally." River just smiled and walked out. "River, what are you planning?!"

"Oh wouldn't you like to know, ha!" River said and walked out of the room again with Clara shaking her head amused.


End file.
